My Purpose

Some days can just be unbearable. The days of seizures, the days of talking on the phone to 50 different medical teams, the days of fighting with insurance and the days of fighting off tears. Some days seem great and others seem impossible. It's usually at night when the weight of the day comes crashing down. Going over what your child's medical team thinks is best, going over what outside bystanders think is best, and then trying to find through all the chaos, what you actually think is best.  Always using every inch of your mind to figure out whats going on and the best way for you to remedy the situation.

As soon as I feel my heart start to crumble, I reflect upon my sweet and very innocent daughters face. I see her going through her day the best she can, flashing smiles and waves, rocking her babies and giving them their medicine so they can feel better. My heart breaks for her, and the pain of this disease seems to be heavier than this momma can handle. I wish so badly that this wasn't our reality. I know that things could be far worse. But some nights it's easier to cry and let the hurt and frustration empty from my eyes. I know tomorrow will start new and the sweet sound of, "morning momma" will reassure my soul of its purpose. My purpose to love  her and to nurture her and to tell her she is stronger than anything this world could ever throw her way. And to make sure she know's that this momma will always be here to shield away every hurt that I can. She will not see or know what defeat means. She will only know courage and strength. On the days my heart is aching I know that my purpose in life is much stronger than the sorrow that comes with this world.

I love you Madilyn.

You are my greatest accomplishment and I am your biggest fan.