This week has been a trying one and it's only Monday. I have seen so many families grieving the loss of babies, husbands and everything in between. I have seen new sweet babies be diagnosed with TSC and seen some lose their battle to it. My head goes back to those days of being in the hospital with Maddie and those feelings of sadness and pain feel so real, just like they were happening today. My heart was so blind to childhood illness. Now that we have dealt with it with our own daughter, it's all I feel like I ever see. Children battling cancer, children with incurable diseases, and babies who grace our presence for only a few precious hours. I can't help but ask the question....Why? When asking it, I'm not questioning God's plans, I'm just questioning why because my earthly body can't understand why such innocent babies have to hurt. After lots of thinking today I realized I don't want to know why, because I don't think I could handle it. I know our Heavenly Father is working in the lives around us and I can feel his presence so strongly. I don't know why things happen, but I do know one day we won't have to see or feel the pain of death. We won't have to cry over lossed loved ones, or newly diagnosis or miscarriages or all the things that leave us wondering why... We will be in heaven with the ones we love, and for now, that's enough to give me peace.
I'm writing for me tonight. I don't have any kind of profound findings or answers. I simply needed to right out my thoughts and feelings. I pray that each of you who are hurting tonight can find the peace that I have found.
This world is not my home, I'm just traveling through...
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